Welcome, one and all, welcome to my world of stuff!

Meet me, the Sooz. I've just returned from what can loosely be called a contract abroad.....it must have been a bit abroad because I needed my passport. I sang and played a grand piano for 3 hours a night on a ship in what can only be described as the Carribean (if by Carribean you mean the North Sea). I thought a blog was the way forward so I'll now introduce myself, but in a list style. Life would be nothing without lists.

10 things you never knew about Sooz (even if you know her a bit)

1. She's 5ft1
2. She has a cat called Freddie Mercury
3. She intends to live at home for as long as she can get away with it....£45 a week with free meals, washing, internet and adoration? I say yes!
4. This summer she spent 3 months in Ayia Napa, Cyprus as a Christina Aguilera tribute act. In this time she earnt a total of £400
5. She can't decide whether her ultimate goal is to be an established star of musical theatre OR to become the first ever female stand-up comic who is hailed as both funny and sexy (so far nobody has seen her as either of these things, so musical theatre star it is!)
6. She recently bought scarlet lipstick thinking it would bring her slightly closer to looking like a 1950s pin-up, but she just looked like the joker.
7. Contrary to what the fashion books would have you believe, leggings ARE her friend.
8. Choosing a Nokia 6300 back in March instantly made her 17% cooler
9. She rides horses and got a pony for her 8th birthday. You know all those girls who hanker after a pony? I was the posh little bitch who actually got one. He's now 19 years old and lives with some children and his name is Chockie.
10. Her cat was Jones in James Cameron's 'Aliens'. Yes. Really. Not Freddie Mercury, an earlier one. His name was Boris.

So now that you know all that you need to know, let the blogging commence. I aim to be considered the new Jesus by January....I'm already seeing the headlines...."Hilarious Blog-Girl Becomes Cult Figure Globally". I'll have my first single out by February and be an Oscar winner by March. Of course with a meteoric rise like that, I'll be desperately starring in reality TV shows by the Autumn. Andy Warhol was right. Not about the 15 minutes of fame thing....more about that film of the Empire State Building that lasts for 2 years. He made that film and NEVER ended up in Celebrity Big Brother, so I guess that's a little lesson for us all.